About programming languages: jokes and serious reviews

Criticism of the most popular languages, by their users.

Dart

Dart was originally designed to replace JavaScript. But JavaScript has evolved and finally it is replaced by itself. Now Dart authors are upgrading Dart to replace Dart.

Go

With C and C++ it is easy to shoot yourself in the foot. The authors of Go do not want that, so they have removed the gun from your hands. They have even removed the foot, so it can't be harmed ever.

Java

The Java trait of genius is to have placed each object in its own file. The second trait of genius is to put all the files in a single jar file. The third trait of genius is to put what you want in whatever file you want, but there are the other languages that have done it.

Lua

Lua is designed with a Pascal syntax to be embedded in a C++ program. Great if you want to be stuffed with the syntax you have choosen not to use.

Python

You have to be an expert to code in C++, but an idiot could code in Python. They said. Now, I wonder where all the idiots are staying.

Rust

Rust is the natural son of C++ and Perl. Unfortunately for the poor bastard, he inherited the ugliest traits of the two parents. However many mothers cherish the little one, knowing that he is so ugly that he will surely be mistreated by his comrades.

Scala

All the three programmers who use Scala daily like it. There is a pattern in languages running on the JVM. They promote the language with a big feature: it can use all the Java libraries. Then they decide to become serious and make a version which compile to native... and loses all the libraries.

Swift

I used version 1 of Swift knowing that the 2 would change everything. I used the version 2 knowing the 3 would change everything. I used the version 3 knowing the 4 would change everything. I used...